Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
