Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Randomize
