IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Randomize
