I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
