It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
