We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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