I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
