I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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