remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize