The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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