So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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