I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
