Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
