No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
