I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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