Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
