I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
