his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize