Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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