maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
