Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Someone came in the potted fern
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
