I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.