i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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