he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
