The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize