Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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