sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
