he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
