I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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