I feel great
I just peed on a car
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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