jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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