I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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