Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
