Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
