no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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