Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
