I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
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