Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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