operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
birth control should be required to get into college
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
