obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
We have started to decorate penises.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
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