..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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