No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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