I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
