she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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