he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Terrible idea I love it
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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