I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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