I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
