I look better un-naked...
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
they're like a gay fantastic four
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I touched a dick in church today
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
