Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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