physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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