Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
