just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
