I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Randomize
