I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Randomize
