Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
And then my night got REAL pukey
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
You are a genius and a whore.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
