After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Randomize
