They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
