Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
