What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
