Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Randomize
