Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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