Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize